FEEL US

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All my life, I have been blessed. Loving supportive family and friends. Great schools and educators. Class optimist, friendliest, and cutest. Soccer team heart. As I grew older, those blessings were enhanced with wonderful employers who have been family to me ever since... 

I never knew adversity until in my twenties when I was diagnosed with cancer. Stage III Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. But even then, I was close enough to the brilliant compassionate science and medicine of the National Institutes of Health National Cancer Institute, where I received life-saving treatment through a clinical trial. My doctors and nurses and caregivers and all my family and friends were so wonderful in buoying me that I wrote a book called Welcome to My Heart to thank all of them for supporting me on my journey…

We used this book as a fundraiser for The Children's Inn at NIH.

A beautiful testimony of the strength of those children and families.

And mine.

With cancer and with all things, I fought with optimism. And hope. And light.

Darkness rarely finding me.

After cancer, I was blessed with two beautiful children, who are now thriving in living their best lives…

Sontino is serving in the United States Coast Guard and will be starting his first assignment in June... 

Cecelia is living, learning, and leading at the University of St. Andrews in Scotland.

Shortly after Cecelia was born, the darkness found me.

My father. My hero. Suffered a massive stroke.

I hadn’t been trained to be sad. I didn’t know how to do it.

All I knew is that our lives would never be the same…

We sold our house and moved home to live with my parents and 

help my mother care for my father.

Life was shadows. And dark.

But my father had always modeled for us:

I cried when I had no shoes until I saw a man with no feet. 

I fussed when my eyes were tired until I saw a man who was blind.

We would hang on to that tether of faith. Of hope. For seven years until he passed.

Then, darkness.

During my father’s illness, my brother John, another hero to me, developed cancer.

Hodgkins.

The darkness deepened.

He was treated and cured, only for a new cancer to develop a couple years later.

This time. The darkness smothered us.

He died.

And the light of my heart went with him.

Until the flowers were left on my doorstep. In his honor.

Winks of hope. Of light. 

Gifts from a beloved friend.

A treasure of renewed purpose.

After that, I started sharing Points of Light.

Celebrations of good humans. Good hearts. Good moments.

Family, friends, and strangers alike.

Who bring joy, laughter, and smiles to my heart.

Those winks were peeping through again.

Opening portals of light in the darkness.

And then our precious Patti passed. 

Too soon.

With her death. The light was stolen.

The grief, a cover of darkness.

A trifecta of loss that was stifling.

But the light had to shine.

Or I would have died from the insanity of darkness.

So the Points of Light continued…

Until the loss of kindness. From a people.

Until the loss of peace. In a country.

Where the darkness has cornered me again.

In reflecting, I realize I was depressed. I am depressed.

From that moment years ago when I walked down the stairs 

in my house to see Lee standing there. 

Telling me that my father had had a stroke and I needed to get home immediately.

The situation was dire. 

I never knew that fear. Even when my own life was on the line. I never knew that fear. Never. My arms were flailing and my head was spinning. Pacing in circles. A maze.

I was lost.

I remain lost.

In a different darkness.

But I’m a fighter.

And looking for the light.

That light is you.

Those who inspire me.

Those who inspire others.

So thank you.

Thank You for Inspiring.

Now let’s go…

Gianna Allentuck

Founder, Thank You for Inspiring